Little Lyle is adjusting to having a littler brother in so many ways. He is a pretty emotionally sensitive little guy. And crying is his go to reaction to just about anything. With an occasional elbow to the back or toy car to the head. He is a snuggly little guy. He loves to be on just about anyone’s lap. And he snuck about 5 extra hugs from his preschool teacher at the end of class every week last year. He has a strong need for physical affection and well…just affection. But, it appeared that he was taking everything (new baby) in stride in the spring and early summer. And I was seeing more reactionary behavior from Ben.
But somewhere in the last couple months, I have started hearing things like, “I want mommy with OUT Callum.”
“Let’s leave Callum in the bathroom crying and go play.”
“Hold me like a baby.”
“Feed me like a baby.”
“Rock me like a baby.”
And some strong coping mechanisms including carrying a certain match box car with him everywhere he goes, refusing to eat most of what I make, and a few others. He is very interested and attentive when I am nursing Callum. Often wants to sit on my lap (tough) or next to me. And even started crying a few weeks ago saying, “you forgot to nurse me when I was a baby.”
So I should not have been surprised….and really wasn’t I guess, when he asked if he could nurse today while I was feeding Callum. He said it just like that. “Can you nurse me now mommy?”
Let me pause and acknowledge the fact that among my very limited readership, there are those of you who (like my husband) will be totally grossed out and stop reading right now, those who will be shocked and giggle a bit, but stick it out with me, and those that do not find a nursing three year old anything but beautiful and natural. With that said, I said, “yes.”
He latched on.
Then declared, “big boys don’t nurse mommy.”
And walked away.
I am hoping this little moment we had filled whatever part of his heart that is aching as he adjusts to our family of 5. That he was reassured that I would do ANYTHING for him. That in a way he will always be my baby. Even when he is married and his wife begs to differ.
Also, I am really hoping he does not want to explore this relationship further because he eats like a horse and is liable to suck the life right out of me.