The ever changing mind…

Here is how this afternoon went. Diana was at home with the boys. And I played tennis with my mom. Luxury of all luxuries.

I went home to pick Ben up and take him with me on a few errands. I told him we were going to get a cheese cloth. And we had a coupon. VERY EXCITING! He said he didn’t want to go. I asked again. And again. And really did want him to come with me b/c Lyle was sleeping and Diana was trying to clean the house with a little peace and quiet. I asked again. I threw out the mysterious “surprise” if you come. I said they had toys at Bed Bath and Beyond.


He refused to go.

He waved from the garage and said he’d see me soon.

I returned an hour later (after running a couple more errands since I was kidless and fancy free)

Diana was holding Ben in the garage and he was crying hysterically. Snot all over his face. Hands in his mouth to comfort himself. HYSTERICAL. I picked him up and hugged him and he just kept saying over and over and over, “I WANTED TO GO WITH YOU. I WANTED TO GO WITH YOU. AND YOU DIDN’T TAKE ME. I WANT TO GO BACK. WE HAVE TO GO BACK. I WANTED TO GO WITH YOU.”

Oh, I’m sorry. Did we have a miscommunicaiton eariler when I asked you….no, begged you…to come with me? Oh sweet Ben. I want to meet all your emotional needs. And it makes me so sad when you get this sad.

He cried and cried in my arms for 5 minutes. I walked him down the hall to his room, layed on his bed with him, and began reading Peter Rabbit. His breathing slowed. His tears dried. And he snuggled close. And when Lyle tried to get in on the fun, Ben rolled on top of me and said, “no…she’s my mommy.”

It runs deep. All those little three year old emotions run deep. Lord, help me help him.