helpless

my kids are sick again. i feel so helpless to make them better. it makes me so sad. frustrated. annoyed. angry. and just overall….helpless. i’ve tried all legal and illegal (not recomended for those under age 4) drugs for ben. but he just keeps getting colds. that turn into a cough. that turn into a HORRIBLE UP ALL NIGHT WE ARE ALL UP ALL NIGHT I JUST WANT SOME SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF SLEEP PLEASE…..coughs. it’s sad. and all of the aforementioned emotions.

and lyle just puked in his crib. not spit up. that is different. and everywhere all over my house also. but this was vomit. through the crib slats. onto the wall. dripping down over the electrical socket and pooling on the carpet. and when i found him he seemed so happy with no regard for the chunks of upchucked lunch in his hair and ears. and everywhere. and i started crying. but that felt dumb and pointless. so i stopped and just started cleaning. everything.

and everytime my kids get sick, the optoimist i am….look out about three weeks and think…what should we DO three weeks from now, for two days while the kids are well before they get sick again?

and then i think about how really really really sad i would be if my kids were really sick. and i could not help them. and i am thankful. for their little coughs. and vomit. that i think is on my shirt. b/c i can still smell it.

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One thought on “helpless

  1. my children have been sick off and on for the past 2 – 3 weeks. i have thought of you often in this time.

    i have a vomitter. do you have a vomitter in little lyle? i have a vomitter. coughs lead to vomit. fevers lead to vomit. vomit leads to more vomit. do yourself a favor and embrace the towel method of putting beach towels underneath and on top of sheets before bed when you know they are sick. saves you some sheet changes in the middle of the night. coughs – i don’t have any answer, other than a trip to the steamy bathroom in the middle of the night always seems to slow the coughing down enough so you can get a little sleep.
    plus humidifiers, and Vicks, and staying hydrated. sheesh.
    maybe your kids get sick from all the fresh air and sunshine and beautiful weather. you should probably move back to houston and pollution and allergies and humidity. that may solve all your problems.

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