happiest place on earth

I spend a lot of time trying to discover who Ben is as a little boy. I don’t want to label him. Or put him in some box or category: spirited, angel, social, emotional, etc. I don’t like it when people do this to me, as a some what confident, self assured 30+ year old, I can only imagine how frustrating this would be for a two year old. Who doesn’t know who he is or who he wants to be. And his options are limitless. But in an effort to be sensitive to his little soul, I am constantly making note of what makes him happy, what could upset him, when he gets excited, when he gets frustrated, etc. Basically so that I’m not torturing him unknowingly as we go about our days. All this coupled with my neurotic tendencies that I try not to project on him (fear of abandonment, anxiety with new places / situations, need for alone time, etc). I try to be so sensitive anytime Ben will be in a new situation, or new place with new people, that could overwhelm him. Especially if I am not going to be there. But he always seems to thrive in these (scary!) new situations. Loves meeting new people. Loves new surroundings.

So why should I have been at all surprised that my sweet Ben looked like this for 5 hours (right through nap time) at Disneyland on Friday? Aparently not overwhelmed AT ALL by the masses of people, crazy characters, dark rides, and loud noises! He literally just kept saying “we go on more rides mama? more rides? more boat? more train? more taxi car?”

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